What exactly is love, when it is nothing special?

Now, this question is for the people (mainly Christians) out there who believe we should love everyone in the whole world. (So do not take personal offense here if it doesn't apply to you. I realize not all Christians believe this.)





No, love is not a bad thing. Love is not harmful. But the concept of loving everyone, I think is unnatural and unhealthy. We are denied our natural emotions of hatred and anger -- emotions which are often very justified -- and told that we must love everyone equally. We are to love Hitler the same as we love our children; to love Charles Manson just as we love our parents. This is not natural at all in my view. Some people are more special to us than others: our families are precious to us in a way that our political leaders never will be. Why should we be forced to "dilute" our feelings so that the child molester down the street is as beloved to us as our child himself?

What exactly is love, when it is nothing special?
Loving everybody is a contradiction in terms. Love is, besides a pure emotion, also one of the tools we use to compare people.





I wouldn't love you so much, if I hadn't experienced indifference or dislike towards other people who can't even be compared to you.





I would refuse to be loved by somebody who claims to love everybody. That, by default, makes love useless and empty.
Reply:Love can make this life wonderful, and being unloved damages people immeasurably.





Your point is valid... persistently saying "I love you" when it is not sincere, means nothing. Trying to love those who are not worthy of love is a silly endeavor.





You are not required to love everyone, those of us who are capable of love, must find people who can authentically reciprocate. Political leaders love only themselves. The child molester loves only their self.





We must never dilute ourselves with phoney callings to love those who have not earned our trust, respect, or affection.
Reply:A better take would be to love the human race in general, not every individual. And by everyone, I'd interpret that as people of all races, religions, etc.
Reply:I hate humanity as a whole, but I love the individuals I get to know. So I guess I kind of agree with you.
Reply:Very good question


From a Christian perspective, you are right. We are asked to love one another.


Love is not a bad thing as you say. And here is where our understanding of CHristian AGAPE love comes in.


I trust you will grant me the same courtesy in answering as you have expressed in your question.


The love of God predates sin. Sin entered the world through Adam's disobedience. However you want to interpret that story - that's the story. Sin is what brings hatred and anger, therefore these emotions are NOT natural to us. They are a consequence and part of living in a sinful world. This is hard to understand, but necessary when explaining the love of God and His instruction for us to love.


God's message of love is given so that we can cope with living in a sinful world.... with living with our anger and hatred.





When Christians are admonished to love one another - AND to love others as ourselves, it is done so in the context of AGAPE love. That is, a love that transcends ourselves and encompasses all that is in everyone. Sort of like that. Since we (Stalin, Hitler, PolPot, murderers, molesters and the like) are ALL part of the sinful world - we NONE OF US has the right to place ourself above anyone else. When Jesus said, "forgive them, they know NOT what they do" He meant that the murderers were not aware of the Love of God, the Love of Jesus.


This is truly one of the great mysteries. God's love. The closest we come to it is understanding selfless love when we love our children, but even that doesn't scratch the surface of how deep, high, wide, and through us the Love of God is. The reason we REJECT love for bad people is because we don't understand why we have to. God understands it. And so does Jesus. The closer I become to Jesus, the better I understand it, but I'm not even close myself.





I hope this scratches some of the grit off of that plate for you. :) because it surely is a plateful to digest.





blessings :)
Reply:The mixes up love %26amp; lust! Lust is a feeling for oneself!


While love is out going concern for others! You do for others without expecting anything in return!


Jesus who died for our sins , died for all just the same, Hitler, Charles Manson, you %26amp; everyone else.


To have that kind of love we need the spirit of God. Human love isn't the same. Let me know if you want to know more.
Reply:love is work... with all the christian talk about loving everyone, little do they do to love the ones they should... how many turn their backs on family members because they don't share religion... how many people hound, control.. beat their children into submission, beat the spouses, all actions of control not love... in love there is acceptance, and respect, are part of love. Love up builds it does not tear down.... so all talk and no action does negate love value....
Reply:It is called Agape; spiritual love of all living beings, not the same as Filios (fraternal love), or Eros (physical love). Just because people did bad things does not mean that they do not deserve love in the sense of acceptance or sympathy, even if you also assure that this is balanced out with that natural hatred. Imagine what was wrong with them that allowed for them to do such horrible things, or let them run out of control. The world is not so black and white as to even assume that Hitler was entirely evil. Shame, isn't it?
Reply:love.... first the bible quote which has practically become pop culture - which possible best explains the 'agape' (unconditional) sort of love -





Love is patient, Love is kind,


It does not envy, it does not boast,


It is not proud, It is not rude,


It is not self-seeking,


It is not easily angered,


It keeps no record of wrongs.





Love does not delight in evil,


but rejoices with the truth.





Love always protects, always trusts,


always hopes, always perseveres.





Love bears all things, believes all things,


hopes all things, endures all things.





Love never ends.





L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.





Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8





Now i call this sort of love "Christ-love", or "Buddha-Love", or "Mother Theresa-Love", if you prefer.





It's not romantic, or even personal, it's not judgemental, and although most of us find it harder to love - in this way- the person who broke into our car versus our nearest and dearest, i think the concept is that we are supposed to love the person that trashed our car the same - but in this sort of unconditional way.





families are of course precious to us because we know them, we have intimate and emotionally intense relationships with them. we are attached, sentimental, have shared experiences.





but going a bit deeper here, if we are all one... then hitler, charles manson and all the others we find harder to love - are part of us too.





being able to love/forgive a hitler or a manson is of course the extreme... we usually start learning this concept with baby steps like, forgiving (which is part of love) the ex that was unfaithful, or the parent that drank, or hit us, or whatever.





even that sort of love/forgiveness is not baby steps to some people, who hang on to all this anger and stuff all their lives.





but let's say you can 'get' how you could love someone by forgiving them of something they did to you....is it not then possible to see that 'loving' a hitler or a manson is just a more advanced step in that direction. forgiving and loving all. whether they do nice things to you or not. no conditions attached.





as far as romantic love, attraction, attachment, oh thank you, you make me feel good - all those 'brain systems' they found out are involved when we 'love' someone in the 'i love you' hallmark/common/emotional/earthly sense of the word - i think that's a different form of love, it's just that in english we use the same word. didn't the greeks divide it into agape (unconditional sort), filios (brotherhood) and eros (romantic/sexual). Not sure if i spelt the second one right.





Anyway, i think the christian/biblical/agape/love is a higher form than our emotionally attached 'usual' sort.





I also i think that a lot of romantic love is very conditional (whereas Christ-Love is unconditional) -





i.e. how come we love someone one day, but check back ten years later, and maybe we 'don't love them any more' but you 'love someone else' - because the person you 'loved' didn't meet your conditions. so you moved on.





it's confusing because we use the same word to describe this very high level sort of love and a more base sort of attachmentish kind.





yeh. that'll do for now
Reply:Hatred and anger is just an emotion based upon the mind interpreting what goes on around you. It is the mind and ego that makes you think it is justified.





You are love. Love is really not an emotion like hatred or anger.





It is not natural in your view because you don't understand who you really are or the nature of the world around you. There is no other - not one that you mentioned is separate or different than yourself. You are not in the the world...you are the world.





Like when you dream...although there may be things that attack you, things you hate, things you are angry at...ultimately, they all are you. Nothing in a dream is not you...you are it all. You just play that you are not and identify with one part of the dream.





Love is not diluted by being unconditional and given to all. It is strengthened. Love is the uniter and brings things together...as they were never separate...the natural state is to love all as yourself.





Love is just as special when it is given to all...you don't know the nature of love...you don't really know what it is if you believe it is dimished. Love grows as it spreads.





I should mention, romantic love is something else...I give that form only to my girlfriend.





~ Eric Putkonen
Reply:Just saying "I love you" is worthless. We are ideally supposed to act in love (i.e., charity and kindness) and forgiveness toward other human beings. Of course, being human, we may not always live up to the ideal.


But as for Hitler and Manson (or anyone else), love doesn't mean feeling the emotion; it's all about the way we behave.


If we are good Christians we leave retribution to God.


Again, our "feelings" have NOTHING to do with Christian love. How we act has EVERYTHING to do with it.
Reply:Love is special when it is reciprocated.
Reply:God is love Jesus died for you nuff said

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