Does love always feel this sick, or is it because he's married and not to me.?

At 15years old, I fell in love and he fell in love with me. We were both shy, but only of each other. He advanced to other girls and I chose to wait, but to no avail. Life started to pass me by and I ended up with "whoever". Now, we've found each other 34 years later. He's married since 1998. I'm widowed since 2003. Does these relationships ever work out. I never dreamed of being with a married man, but this one I loved before he was married. He loves me back, but of course I don't know how strong his love is for me or if he loves me more than he loves his wife. I'm searching for any kind of answers I can get to help my stomach stop churning.

Does love always feel this sick, or is it because he's married and not to me.?
Adultery is never pleasant. Affairs are never have fairy-tale endings.
Reply:Well honey you tell him that nothing is going to happen between you too while he is married. If he truly loves you he will divorce his wife. If he doesn't leave his wife then you know.
Reply:Get over it... Move on... Nothing to see here... The grass is always greener... Etc... It's not a competition. He's married. PERIOD. Respect that and move on... IF you REALLY love him, you won't screw up his life now... Seems as though you're only thinking about yourself...?
Reply:A wrong situation like this one cannot work. First of all HE IS MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE. Sorry to have to yell at you but, what kind of person would do that to someone else? Are you not caring about his wife's feelings? And maybe his children's feelings? Of course he doesn't love you. If he can commit adultry he doesn't love either one of you and he would do this to you too. Find someone else now!!!!
Reply:Love never feels sick. It' s because he is married and not to you. And you are having a full bolwn affair with him and deep down you know that's sick!
Reply:Don't mess with fire, cause it always burns. If he is married, let him stay that way. Move on. (Maybe) your stomach churning is your conscience's way of getting your attention. Would you want someone else's old love coming back into the picture interferring? The feelings you have are based on, what, 34 years ago? Fate only works if you both are in the position to create it/act on it. Not force it (make someone divorce) . Fate doesn't cause hurt, for you, for him, for his family, that is just called plain old bad timing. Move on. (just my $.02)
Reply:GET OUT BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!
Reply:Well if you think about it.. He is married so there is no good coming with the situation that you put yourself in. It don't make any differece if he says he loves you as long as he is still with his wife.


He left you when you were younger to go with other girls and now he has a wife. why would you still put yourself into that situation. That isn't love on his part. that is just passifying some inner thing or the sex part


don't put yourself through this .. it isn't worth all of the pain and suffering.. find yourself a single companion.. you don't have to marry him just to have someone to spend some quality time with.. be happy .. Life is to darn short to waste on a married man that will most likely just use you..


wishing you all kinds of luck
Reply:yeah its sick, dating a married man that is
Reply:you probably have diarrhea


it will be OK
Reply:wow....it's true then....to tell u the truth u shud do the same thing u did b4 u met him again....it's better for both of u ..really :S
Reply:You have no right to intrude on his marriage. Would you have liked it if some woman had intruded on yours? I think not.





Find someone else. Your stomach is churning because you know in your heart that what you want is wrong.
Reply:How much does he love U? enough 2 B w/u exclusively or to carry on a relationship while he's married. If its the latter, then you'll b sharing him and not having him all 2 urself. your choice 2 carry on the relationship or not. what if you were married and ur man was loving someone else would you like that. do one 2 others as you'd have done 2 urself:Lot's of other dogs and cats out there in the animal kingdom
Reply:Leave it alone.
Reply:He really loves you (and also his wife), he's got it made.
Reply:No woman should be chasing a married man. If he leaves his wife for you, then will it be OK for another woman to chase after him? If not, then why the double standard? It never ceases to amaze me how many women love married men.... there are plenty of single men out there. Let his poor wife try to make a good marriage, and stop being a home wrecker.
Reply:What are you doing?? Nobody should ever be with a married person how would you of felt if your ex-husband cheated on you it wouldn't feel nice would it face it huh your the other lady and you need to make a clean break before this thing gets out of hands if he really loved you he would of never have started anything with you knowing that he could not give you his all the fate is he never married you he married his wife a lady he loves a lady that hes still married to and made promises to her in front of everyone and God how could any decent human mess something like that up so if you want to make your stomach stop churning then end this thing you have going on with this family man RIGHT NOW!!!
Reply:This is a problem only you can answer. Take your time to think about all the problems this may cause other people involved. If you think you can make this work between the two of you, you can try. But if you think of the people you will be hurting, ask yourself....is it worth it. Is he happily married? Is she good to him? Does he love her ? If he is happy with her, maybe you should step back and see what progresses.
Reply:No these realtionships don't work out, in fact the statistics on relationships that start in adultery are dismal at best. Also, what do you really get? A guy that you know is capable of lying and cheating....when will it be your turn to be the one that is cheated on? And who do you become then? You screwed up by waiting for 'him' in the first place and never really moving forward yourself, that was your mistake and your foolishness, no reason his wife should pay the price for that. I guess you just have to decide what kind of person you want to be.
Reply:it always feels that sick. if it makes you feel better, i'll probably be like you when i'm your age. except the guy love never has loved me
Reply:That was then and this is now. I ask you to ask yourself one question.....If he was your husband would you want this done to you? Would it have made it ok if he had the affair with a girl he knew before you? I bet the answer to both of those questions is no. Leave this man alone. Please spare yourself the torment of being the other woman. They rarely ever leave their wives. The fact is....the other woman is a piece of *** and usually nothing more. Leave this one alone.....seriously. You may find his wife at your door with a very large weapon, not worth it is it???
Reply:If love is meant to be then it is meant to be. BTW how is his relationship with his wife? I wouldn't wanna see something like that put his marriage on the rocks. I know a friend who was in your shoes but after a brief time he went back to his wife. Play it safe and tell him you don't wanna wreck his marriage. If he says it doesn't matter and wants out, that's his call but don't make it worse for him.
Reply:I'm sorry about your husband's death. Yes, you had love at one time, but this man is married. How would you feel if some woman came into your husband's life and he left you for her? That would just be cruel and you, for sure, would be hurt, confused, amongst many other emotions. And does he have children? This would not only hurt his wife, but his children. It's time to move on and stay away from a married man. I sincerely plead with you for the sake of their marriage. If you truly love him, then you won't interfere.
Reply:whatever. its ur life
Reply:leave it alone. you lost your turn. he is married now. move on to an available man.
Reply:Just because you are widowed doesn't mean you have the right to come into his life and try to break his marriage up. You should have some respect for the vows he took with his wife.


The odds are that he isn't going to leave his wife/family for you. You can talk to him but I certainly don't advocate you asking him to leave his wife for you. If he loved you more than he loved his wife he wouldn't be with her, he would be with you. Don't hold your breath with this one, do yourself a favor and cut it off now and move on to someone who you can have a real relationship with.
Reply:There is an old but true expression and it goes like this...."THE THING YOU CAN`T HAVE IS THE THING YOU WANT THE MOST"
Reply:IDK W/E
Reply:hes using u for sex...he wont leave his wife....get over it ...you find taken men attractive..its self destructive..see a counselor..and get your life back..hes just using you...as far as your stomach..try alcohol...rum and coke margarita etc
Reply:How would you feel if your husband was with someone else after 8 years. I think you are a little jealous because he isn't married to you, but leave it alone. You are hurting there marriage.
Reply:He's married, don't destroy what he has. Love is so tough to let go of. Start dating other men, or occupy yourself in other ways. Church, classes, bingo, groups, walks..... If it is meant to be, he will have to resolve his current relationship, he knows your available. Yes, love is so tough, but the old saying "time heals all wounds". Best of luck to you, my heart poors out...