I love him but I am not in love anymore...is this normal???

My fiance and I have been together from about a year and I love him dearly. He is the kindest, sweetest man I have ever known. He treats me like gold and I love him but I am not in love with him anymore. I am not in love with anyone. In the beginning our our relationship I thought I was in love but now I know it was infatuation. When he talks about marriage I feel anxious and want my freedom. He is crazy for me and I am confused. Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone out there better for me. I am so confused. I don't want to break his heart. I think if we parted I would be miserable and want him back. Am i expecting too much? Can you have a good marriage without that in love feeling??? Do I just have cold feet?





Please give me some sound advice.....

I love him but I am not in love anymore...is this normal???
The "in love" bit usually wears off so it's not good to base your marriage on that anyway.





I think movies and media give us an unrealistic view of romance. It makes us think anything less that "sleepless in seattle" is settling for 2nd best.





I felt similar to you - whenever I was in a relationship and thought of marriage I would think "What happens if my soulmate turns up and I am already married?".





By 32 I was definately over searching for the "soul mate" and met a good man I loved and could imagine spending my life with.





If you are anxious about marriage, tell him. When the subject comes up tell him marry today is a scary thing. So many marriages because people miss their freedomor they meet someone else and then their spose is left heartbroken.





Tell him you don't feel ready for marriage and when you marry you want to be sure you are 100% committed for the long haul. You might want to consider a long engagement. You might also want to ready yourself in case he decides he is ready and wants to find someone else that is too.





1 year is pretty fast.





I don't think it's worth dumping your boyfriend for, unless you love him like a friend and not as a lover/partner.
Reply:Separate for a while,, and see what happens,,, If you really care for each other then you will be back together soon enough... Read the wedding vows to your self and really think about what they mean to you ,, then discuss it with your fiance. and get his true feelings about what the vows mean to him. Too many forget those words almost as soon as they say them at the ceremony, therefore don't realize the true meaning of marriage,,, Hope This helps,,, Good Luck
Reply:I have to disagree totally with Freedle, you can totally love someone without being in love. You can fall out of love but still love the person.





Well, can you imagine your life without him. Would you want to be with him if you seperated? You don't want to push away what could be the love of your life. Only you know the answer.
Reply:Being confused isn't abnormal, a lot of fiances have that problem with the doubts.





To be totally clear though, if you really aren't in love with him, you don't really love him either. It is a fallacy to believe otherwise. Doubting is normal but if you love, you are in love.





fs
Reply:i think you have what most woman want and you are stupid if you let him go but if you dont love him dont take him threw the pain of a failed marriage its unfair. dont worry it wont be hard for him to find someone to take your place!
Reply:When someone is nice to you you dont appreciate it. We humans are just ungrateful. We want that thrill and chase.





I want to know how NOT to love my ex who dumped me!!!!
Reply:typical of most menopausal women
Reply:I think 2 things may be happening here: 1.cold feet, normal you are about to take a major step in life and it might scare you a little.2. could it be that he has been so nice and wonderful that you haven't "worked" at making your relationship work, therefore you are bored, or think you are? I will say this if he is as good as you say he is don't make the mistake of letting him go, because you may regret it the rest of your life. Life is not just about being in love, its about loving and maybe what you need to do is define what love is to you and you may find out that he really is worth keeping. Only you will know the answer. Think about this, good guys are VERY hard to find nowadays. God be with you.

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