Love, moving, and death. How confusing!?!?

I am in love with a guy. He is my best friend, and also everything I could want, and his flaws match up just fine with my flaws. There are many problems, however. 1. I might be moving in the summer, so I have a limited time to be with him. 2. He is afraid to love. He told me about the only crush he has ever had. It ended in a way worse than just heartbreak. He loved this girl more than anything, then, one day, she got in a car accident and died. He was completely, totally in love with this girl, and she was gone. Just like that, dead. That's never happened to me, so I can't even imagine how hard it was for him. He's afraid to open up and love people now, because he's afraid of what will happen if they die. I still love him now, and all I want is for him to be happy. Even if that means being with someone other than me. I don't know what to do, and am feeling sad. Please, what can I do to make him happy and help him open up his heart to me? please help!

Love, moving, and death. How confusing!?!?
i dont know if this will help or not, but this story sounds just like me, only im looking at the mans point of view, i also have lost the 1 true love of my life, its been 5 years now, and to be honest i dont know if i can ever start loving anyone else, not to sound to tacky, but what i need to do is, im eventually gonna have to let go, maybe hes like me, maybe its all about time, i know thats not the answer your looking for, sorry, im sure he loves you, he just needs time.
Reply:try to mention about you to him. Let him understand that you're always by his side, and that you love him very much. Then maybe he'll think about it again since you're moving away.
Reply:If you are truly best friends with this guy..... you got to let him work this out for himself.... he hasn't come to term with her death.....he might need some help... he needs to talk with his Dr.. help him get thru this....this won't go away over night ... time will help....if you are going to be moving... it would be sad for this guy to open up to you... just for you to leave him.... another heartbreak.... keep the friendship ... you have now.... in time.... if he feel he can open up to you... he will come looking for you......some time in a situation like this one.... he needs you as his friend.....he isn't ready for a serious relationship.... he will one day.... I hope it will be you...
Reply:Ask Him what you need to ask him.


tell him you like him


be yourself


'express the feelings u have ask if he has any feelings for u!!!
Reply:just keep showing him affection, show that you care about him, and that you want him to be happy.





but if you're moving in the summer, if he falls in love with you, wont he be heartbroken all over again if you move away?





:(
Reply:all you can do is love him and be supportive. be honest and give him some time it may take a while - but just be there and love him - he will probably always love her - but you can assure him you don't want to take her place you just want to love him - let him know he is worthy of love again.
Reply:You need to make him feel safe and comfortable around you. It will be hard for him but if he knows he can trust you he is more likely to talk. The summer is a while away, enjoy being with him whilst you can, if you are moving that is. Don't try to get him to talk about it if he doesn't want to, when he's ready he will talk.
Reply:The car accident is an excuse. He's not ready for a relationship, or he's not interested in your relationship going further. My girl died in a motorcycle accident. Sure, I was depressed for awhile. But, when I was ready, I didn't use the accident as an excuse to not commit to another.
Reply:Honestly i wouldn't tell him u hav a crush on him b/c he could fall for you and if you move then he might feel the same way he did w/ the other girl and then he could get all deppresssed again.
Reply:Well, you can't make him do anything. If he is afraid to open up, you can get him a book on that. But if it is his will to treat everyone as this crush of his, then he will be missing out on life. Unfortunately, this is disrespectful for those of us who are alive.


The point is you can't make him do anything.





ABout the moving away thing... I suggest that if you love him and you know your time with him is limited, don't do anything. I was in your shoes, and it was so devastating for me to become attached to this person, love him, and then lose him. Yah, I guess that with love you take risks, and for our love I eventually suffered, so its a poetic justice kind of thing. Believe me, it hurt


the more involved you get, the worse it will be for you when you do move

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