Ok soo here's the deal....I was in this realationship with this one guy and I was/am head over hills in love with him!!! We had an amazing realationship,but than we broke up! Now he has some gurl pregant and soo now I know I can't be with him....but I still love him and he still loves me. and than theres my best friend and I love him to death! I mean I think I could spend the rest of my life with him,but I'm not physically attracted to him....but I love him, should I let the physical stuff get in the way...and than there's my poor boy friend his real cool...but I don't love him,he's just doesn't talk to me...there's not way to make a real deep connection...if any one is still reading this,PLZ help I don't know what to do I'm confused!!!! very confused!!
I love two guys and Have a boyfriend I don't love....? hmmmmm....I think I may need some help!!?
Since your ex-boyfriend did get a girl pregnant, it wouldn't be at all fair, to the girl who is pregnant, for the father to leave her for someone else so I think you should move on from him and let him take care of what is happening in his life, even if you do still love him. I know that it may sound blunt, but a man should never just leave someone that he has even accidently commited to (meaning him impregnating her). To your second problem, if you can't learn to see or feel for what your boyfriend truly is, or you can't accept or deal with his personality, then a long-lasting relationship is pretty much unattainable. Physical attraction should never be above what you see on the inside of a person. If you think you could really grow to love him regardless of his outward appearance, then I think you might discover that you have someone you will never stop loving and if you're lucky, it will be the same for him too.I hope this helped some.
Reply:the first guy u stated seems to love someone else whether he tells u he loves u r not,or maybe he does love u but dont mess up that girl's life that would be really f***ed up if u did, u should leave ur current bf and get with the "best friend" who really isnt ur best friend because ur crushing on him so he's ur crush or the love of ur life watever u rather call him, dont let the physical get in the way girl u never know with him he may love u and yall could have a better relationship than the relationship u had with that other guy
Reply:Guys are physical beings unlike girls who dwell on their emotions. I found some articles for you that might help you understand what's really in your ex BF's mind http://gotblab.com/category/sex-and-dati...
Reply:Get your act togther.The one who you are loving is gone ,stop dreaming.Try to connect with your boyfriend, this is a better investment.
Reply:dont worry.. remember.. the saying.. 'THE MORE THE MARRIER'
Reply:The reason you are confused is that you allow your feelings/emotions to get the better of you. You need to use both your heart and your mind. And you need to decide. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. Only one cake at a time. And some you simply cannot have (because they've been sold or taken already).
How can you say that your ex loves you still when he got another girl pregnant?
Try to sort your mind. Sex and love are never the same. Ditto for physical attraction and love. Ask yourself what you really want from a partner or potential husband/father. Never go deep into physical relationships without the other party's commitment.
Reply:I agree you need some help.
Reply:No you shouldnt let the physical attraction get n the way...if hes sumone you think you can spend the rest of ur life with than u cant let it get n the way...
Reply:Best advice for you, just leave everyone alone and start new, find ONE true person and quit playin games!!
Reply:do not go for the guy who made the other girl pregnant. do not stck wit ur current bf if u have no feelings forhim. i would say go for the friend
Reply:Spend time to talk to that person, ur poor boyfriend...
if you don't talk anymore, how would you know his real feelings right?=) i'm guessing that this poor boyfriend of yours is very good in pleasing women in bed right?? hmmmmm... how do i know?=) i was a poor boyfriend of someone too but nobody could take her to that one place that only i, YES, only i can take her into... u got my WORD OF HONOR honey... promise
Reply:make up your mind, it seems like you need you world rocked ;)
Reply:Pretty sure that you don't understand what love means. Just do whatever you want, because it doesn't matter anyway.
Reply:hey ;) just sounds like my love-confusion and love-trouble... maybe i can help you by describing how it might work otherwise round (if you had this real good friend as boyfriend..) so: that's my little story. and let me tell you, i'm just as confused as you are!!
i have this boyfriend who i love to death also. i met him, he's very charismatic and charming. i immediately thought "this is it" "i'll know this man until i die". BUT.. guess what.. i didn't feel physically attracted to him. more spiritually, or let's say, it was a mind and communication thing. but important: the physical attraction (or no-attraction) actually never changed :( so imagine, i have a boyfriend of 4 years and i do love him and all, BUT it almost kills me not to feel passion with him. believe me, don't go there :( if love-life means not so much to you - go for your friend!! but i recommend not to. for obvious reasons... here again goes my little story. in the middle of my relationship i met.. tata.. an old love of mine that has not worked out in the past. i still loved him very much, and attraction came back and he seduced me and.. well, we had a love-affair. it almost killed me to feel passion again with this guy i loved, but i also realised i don't have the same mind%26amp;spiritual attraction to him. no good communication. sad again!! nor did i like his friends. but it just felt right to be with him. he was the man i really needed. so.. after months, i lost contact to my old love again, because situation was just unsatisfying and so unclear. i broke up with my bf, but after 2-3 weeks i got week (because i still loved him, just different, and i did think he was the love of my life) i stayed with my boyfriend for 3 years. THEN.. tata.. i met man number 3, just like you. this man is very flirty, there are tons of sparks and i completely fell for him but no real good communication again. he does know my situation and this is just ok for him. he loves to play with girls.. plus.. after 3 months i found out he was married. this was unsuspected but made it clear. ever since i met him - and even more since i know the whole truth about him - i try to break free. i would prefer my bf at any time!!! i love my boyfriend even more, since i met the other man. it is like i love two man at the same time: with one it's more the "eternal-thing", like i believe i have to go without the physical satisfaction. the other man makes me addicted to him by giving me what i miss in my boyfriend. so believe me, it's no good, if you love "love", to take your good friend as boyfriend. you can try though ;) who knows..
and to man number 2 (my old love, who i always think about) we took up contact just a couple of weeks ago. he does have a gf. and he's a very faithful guy. i respect him so much. and i can hardly wait to see his face again after 3 years. but i'm so afraid also and want to maybe rather build up a good friendship with him. hoping that maybe it works with him, one day... i don't know! let me tell you - now i have the same kind of trouble like you!! i'm confused so much... love my bf and have pity also and don't want to hurt. but my behaviour is crazy and mindless. if i'm honest to myself, i should rather break up with my love and boyfriend and find someone where i feel sparks, passion, and a best friend also!!! just all in one. is this asked too much?? :) good luck to you... i hope you meet a new man who you will fall in love completely with everything it needs.
Reply:Why did you two break up? Does he love the girl that he got pregnant? Just because he is having a child with someone else, doesn't mean that he has to be with her forever, just as long as he takes care of his child. I would just keep your friend as your friend. If you're not physically attracted to him, then there is no way you two could have a relationship other than friends. I think you should talk to your first boyfriend and see where he stands with his feelings for you, stay friends with your friend and break up with your boyfriend if you're not in love with him or don't think you ever will be. Good luck girl!
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