Is it real love or friendship?

I have a male friend that I have loved for over 20 yrs. I was honest and told him then that I was in love with him as a man and would always be in love with him. He never returned the feelings and we went separate ways leaving the friendship in tact. Now we are both married, he decided to say I Love You repeatedly in the last 5 wks and admitted that he always has. He said his love for me is different than that for his wife. He says he loves me for my honesty, loyalty, values, beauty and a friendship like he has never had in his life. He also claimed he doesn't like people getting close to him and that he chooses who he wants in his life. He said I have been there since day one. I love my husband and this man but the love I have for each is different. I sometimes feel he is the one that slipped away. I have had marital problems for a few yrs trying to work them out but my husband only tries for a few wks. Now I am getting these feelings from the other man. Does he really love me?

Is it real love or friendship?
I can tell you that your fantasies about this man make it hard for you to see the good things in your relationship with your husband. If this man loves you for your honesty, loyalty and values you can not be unfaithful to your husband...as soon as you are...you are no longer a honest, loyal person with values. Take things very slow. Deal with the issues in your marriage first. If they don't work then it is time leave your marriage before starting another relationship. If you do leave your husband and end up with this friend...you may regret it...as you don't know who he is. You only know he is someone that is trying to convince you to have an affair. He may be getting old. If he is around 40 or so please do not jepardize your marriage...it is only his mid-life crisis. Even if he really does love you, it doesn't mean anything has to change in your life...
Reply:FORGET HIM
Reply:I think you need to focus on one relationship at a time. You already know that your friend is going to be there no matter what. Take a time out from him and try to reconcile with your husband. If you can, then that is great, if not, then go your separate ways. But if you go your separate ways then do not interfere with your friends marriage. Tell him how you feel and ask for honest feedback. If he does not feel the same then please dont push the issue....love him as a friend and nothing more. Dont ruin a good friendship, they are so hard to come by. Good luck with whatever you choose to do....God bless.
Reply:One who is not honest to himself loves you for your honesty.


come on wake up to reality.
Reply:Forget the man that you used to love and just think about your husband and try to save your life. Try not to contact the one that you used to love! It is good for both of you!
Reply:I don't know the guy so I can't say. If he really loves you he'd be willing to leave his wife for you and the same goes for you.
Reply:no no no don't fall for it,becuase you will lose him as a lover and as a friend are you willing to take that chance,I hope not please I beg you keep it as a good friendship so you both of you can allways lean on each other for support,it allway seems good at first but then when things go down hill im telling you that is the end of everything.
Reply:he may very well love you but that doesnt mean he is IN love with you....
Reply:well he said that he did love you lean he does love you and there is nothing that you can do about it you just have to expect it
Reply:Friends can always love each other. It's a different kind of bond than marriage.
Reply:well he sounds like hes a friend and if there was always that 'what if' he coulda told u and maybe it could be that the marital problems are getting to u i say do what is best for u and anyone around u follow ur heart and try to be careful to not hurt anyone u love in ur life and if u haven't told ur husband do so good luck hope this helps :)
Reply:your gonna mess up the marriage. your looking for someone to love thing to hold when you arlready have it at home you just can't see it because you are looking else where. you love your friend but as a friend. you promise to love the man you married you should see how that work for you first. but i hope for the best.
Reply:Yes, he really does love you. It sounds like he is sensitive about sharing his true feelings. I was in a similar situation as you. My true love and I parted ways for 2yrs.And we both had other relationships. We got together after my breakup with my ex. Neither of us were happy in our relationships. When we finally got together we realized our true love. Now we are inseparable (and best friends). In some cases it takes people to experience another relationship to realize where their heart truly lies. Talk to this man don't let you true love get away from you again.
Reply:sounds like hes doing it from the safety of a relationship which means hes either protecting himself or only willing to put his toes in...both will not be much use to you i wd say stay as friends but avoid it going furthur while he is in another relationship......

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