LOVE poem here.... what do you think..???

STUPID LOVE Poem HERE?!!?


I wrote this stupid love poem... last night at 1 am b/c I couldn't sleep. What do you think???





True loves first kiss-





I want to show him that I care


And that I love him more then air


I'll always be there with a hug or a kiss


But it's not always enough


I love him more then anything I want him to know that now


He's the only one for me, he's my true loves first kiss








I hate poetry and I suck at it but what do you think???

LOVE poem here.... what do you think..???
I don't care if U hate it, cuz U R good at it!!!!


Mind if I use that on this guy I like! lol!
Reply:it was ok.
Reply:I love it, very sweet, I feel inspired ^-^
Reply:THATS RELE RELE CUTEE. I RELE LIKE IT!! andd yew are not badd what are yew talkinq about gurlyy hehe. okk well thas hellah cute. yew should use it on some speical guy who is worthy of yew.. okk well GOOD LUCK. sincerly;; AMBER
Reply:I agree with you its a stupid poem
Reply:acutely....i think its really good.
Reply:It's not a bad poem at all.


I liked the first 4 lines (but you lost the rhyme in the 4th).


Even with no rhyme, it's okay except for the last clause. The last part "he's my true loves first kiss" doesn't make sense.


It might be the first kiss from your true love, but that's not what you said. You said that "he is .... kiss," and he is NOT a kiss; he was doing half of the kissing but he is not a kiss.


Change the last part and it will be a good poem.