My friend confessed to me that the only reason she is with her lover is because she craves the feeling of being loved. She NEEDS it. Eventhough i tell her that her family and I love her, she says that is not the kind of love she is looking for. And obviously she has found it in her lover. Because of childhood neglect and having no friends when she was younger, she says that caused to her to view love from others as something she didnt deserve. What advice should i tell her???
Should i tell her to concentrate on loving herself first before she can love somebody else??
LOVE: .............. An underrated Ardor??????
This is totally biological. here is the reason. in our brains there is receptors. when we keep experiencing things our brain learns this behavior via receptors. they are like little keys. abused women seek abuse, sad people seek sadness, angry people seek out angary situations, why? because it is learned. our brian is familliar with this emotion. the way out is a new key. it can be anything.....but it has to be repetitive. things that produce endorhins is the most powerful to overcome a learned behavior
roller coasters, sky diving, etc...try a new sport. learn it. overcome the last addiction.
Reply:Yep you can. there's nothing wrong with that unless her lover is mistreating her or something.
Reply:oh the loving yourself line is always so accepted!
SEriously, she needs more than a one liner in order to overcome childhood neglect and the other problems you say she had.
A good therapist would help, or maybe just a string of good lovers who make her feel valuable for awhile until she believes she is.
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