Thursday, August 19, 2010

Love goes away for good?

We've been dating for almost 6 years. I always looked at him as the guy I want to grow old with as he always made me happy. And so did he - or so I thought. We, of course, had our ups and downs, moments of endless love and those of indifference and routine, but were able to get out of them. He went away for 10 days on a business trip, the longest one he ever took. When he came back, he told me that he no longer has feelings of love to me as towards a woman, though still incredibly loves me as a person and a best friend, etc. He's not sure if it's just a period of time or they are gone for good, so he wants to be by himself for a bit to try to understand what he wants. I still love him deeply and don't believe love goes away like that if it's true... which it was. I think there might be another woman involved on the other part of the world. If so, then it's just a matter of time. If not, then I'm not sure... do you think love can go away like that, in 10 days?

Love goes away for good?
Hi


I'm afraid love can end like this. Often we don't see it coming and suddenly the partner has some rationale for needing time alone etc. But, sadly, that's the way it goes.


Six years is a long time I know and I am trying not to be too pessimistic about your situation. I have been in your position a couple of times. It is so difficult trying to come to terms with such seemingly impending doom. The mind races whilst the heart pounds. Thoughts about good times together, special occasions gone by and those we had expected to share in the future.


I don't know if you have suffered a big heartbreak before but most of us go through at least one. You wont believe it at this time but you can grow stronger and wiser from the experience. Time is the healer and right now it can drag by can't it.


All hope is not lost though. But, and this is a big but, do not chase him (even though your heart wants to do so). Resist the urge to beg him to return. Hold your head up. Keep your pride. This is the best chance you have of a reconciliation.


Good luck


Michael
Reply:I dont think you can just 'fall' out of love, but there is something in his head that is telling him that this just isnt working for him. Men like the easy way out. If he has decided that there are other things in life that he feels he needs to experience, he will think of whatever comes to mind to satisfy him. He knows that he must take your feelings into consideration, but only enough to make him feel confident with himself. Although he really may need 'thinking' time, this could be his way of distancing himself, only to drop the big 'its over' bombshell. Rest assured you are questioning everything. This will only amplify your need to find out whats going on with him. I think that you should let him take his time, but dont be shocked if afterwards, he wants nothing more than a freindship. Men like to let you go easy.. like holding a rope and letting up on the slack ever so gently. Think about where this could go and think about YOUR happiness. You dont deserve to be caught in the middle of his 'wishy-washiness'. Good luck!
Reply:I don't think that love can go away like that in 10 days but he may have seen a person who made him feel interested enough to realize that his feelings for you were not as strong as he once thought. Give him some time and space and try to date a little yourself. He will come back to you if it is meant to be but I will tell you if you act like a nag or a b***ch he will be driven into anothers arms fasted than you can say good bye!
Reply:No love doesn't go away that easy if it dose its not love. If he has a change of heart over 6 years then it probably wasn't love anyway.
Reply:yes it fell out of love with my boyfriend in a week that i left..2 years together
Reply:Yes, It can he probably has second thoughts about you or as you mentioned he might have another relationship, but you are very lucky person because he tells you his true feelings which is great. Close pay attention to him what ever he does but don't let him know.
Reply:I believe in a differing between love and being in love. I don't believe love ever fades or ends because those people hold a special place in your heart that can never be replaced. As for Being in love I do believe it can fade even die you may always love that person because of the greatness you once shared and once had together. But sometimes people just fall out of being in love with someone because something has changed or gone wrong and it doesn't feel like it used to feel and they grow apart. I would give him space remember the saying " If you set it free and it comes back you know it was meant to be" However be cautious also and make sure he isn't trying to "have his cake and eat it too"!


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