How do you love again?

well i dont know where to start ive lost so much in the past few years that i feel like i forgot how to love for starters the only man that truely loved me i couldnt return that love i didnt feel it we have been devorced 8 yrs and he still came around everynow and then untill 2 mths ago he killed himself then the first man who stole my heart ripped it from me he left me on the dilivery table 7 yrs ago every since there has been many heartbreaks bad ones now all of a sudden after being so lonly and desiring the touch of a good man the one i loved with every part of me i have loved for all these years he never left my mind has came back but when i touch him i feel nothing i feel hurt i wont to love him and cant it has been this way in my past few relationships i desire love i want to feel love but cant seem to let my walls down will i ever trust enough to love again will i ever find the one thats ment for me is some people just ment to always be alone please help me find myself

How do you love again?
I'm probably going to give you the same advice everyone else has, but here me out. I think since you have had your heart broken so much I would take a break from men and take time to heal your heart. Spend time with any family you have or friends that you are close to. Take this time to rethink what you really want in a man and what keeps going wrong with the relationships you have had. You could go to a psychologist, but I wouldn't recommend that because they won't be able to help you as much as you can help yourself to get through this. When you date the bad ones do you you only see the good things about them and don't see the flaws. This can take up to six months, but it will pay off for you to be able to feel love completely once again. Start dating again when you feel ready, start by just going on a few dates and not worrying if they turn out long term or not. Pretty much just go out and have fun with a guy by your side. Be confident about yourself and don't be afraid to step up and ask a guy out. The worst thing that could happen is him say no which isn't that bad. Well I hope this helps and if you need anymore advice please e-mail ne. Good luck and take care.
Reply:A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step...
Reply:I'm sure you'll love again if you find the right guy I know that no one will ever replace your first love but just remember that there's always someone out there who cares about you and will love you no matter what. I'm sure you'll find Mr.Right soon but what you need is to think about your situation and talk with a few close friends. They'll listen and it'll make everything a lot easier if you can get everything out in the open. Then focuse on you goals looking for that specail someone. Have fun and live your life you'll soon realize who you are. I know that you may be sad but life goes on. So have fun and enjoy things again! Try being friends with some guys before you actually start dating you'll get to know them and trust them that way if you like them and they like you it'll turn out better. I wish you all the good luck in the world!! And remember to smile!!
Reply:yes. that is so true, you have to love urdelf first....then u well be able to make that decision...and I am sorry to hear about the sucide....that is too bad...and we all go through life with heart breaks..especially... Grief...but it well get better for urself...u only make today as u want...it to be....dont be down in urself, I believe there is someone out there foe everyone...I know how it is to losss someone u realy love...just take it one day at a time...sont rush into anything to fast...I am sorry to hear about all the loss of a relationships...take care and god bless...keep ya head-up
Reply:Dont put yourself under so much pressure, it will happen, you just cant MAKE it happen.
Reply:love is ever green.
Reply:The only way you can ever love again is to allow yourself to be vulnerable again. Love doesn't exist without the risk of heart ache, if it did then it wouldn't be as special as it is. I realize you've been beaten down and betrayed by those you loved but you can't let those experiences continue to control your future. You need to deal with the past and put it behind you and not let it be a factor in your future life and your future loves. You have to give every relationship its own chance to survive or fail on its own. The key is to realize that none of them will ever survive and really stand a chance of being something special unless you take that risk. I wish I could promise you that you would never be hurt again but bad things happen to good people. All we can do is keep trying and keep loving.
Reply:I sometimes feel the same way. check out my profile and talk to me.
Reply:unfortunately when you love somebody you open yourself up to be hurt..you have to be willing to take the chance that you might get hurt and realize that the benefits FAR outweigh the risk of the hurt that might come. You've got to follow your heart and trust in yourself first and pray for the strength to go in the right direction.
Reply:You know....Love seems so simple, yet it also seems so hard, there are never really any simple solutions either...I guess I know how you feel..Even though everyone's circumstances are differant...Sometimes surprisingly, they can be quite simular too! I have been feeling pretty much like you,...For me, it all started when I was 11 %26amp; 12 yrs of age...My teacher was 39...%26amp; every now %26amp; then I still think of her...Although it may have been infatuation on both our parts!





Anyway...The reason I'm telling you this, is because I know how you feel. The need to feel needed is the most highest important feeling that human beings have! %26amp; I think that's why you're hurting...Because you're tired of things or relations which aren't working as good as you'd like...%26amp; you're afraid of being hurt!





That is why I told you that part about my teacher Mrs. Elsa Kirsten %26amp; myself...Even though she's now married a grandmother etc...I still had thoughts of her..I called her 19 yrs later, she was over joyed, but I didn't know what to say or do...I sometimes feel as lonely %26amp; puzzled as you do now.


What can I say?...Except...In our cases, we never found the right people....%26amp; yes....I know, you're tired of being hurt, or alone Or rejected...You should try %26amp; find a person who's just as lonely %26amp; as tired of being hurt as you do!





22 yrs later...I still think of Elsa, but our circumstances always got in the way...Now that I'm old enough...I still feel hurt by lonesomeness..%26amp; I find it hard to let go of her too!





I think you should try again...But this time you should try with someone who can appreciate exatly how you feel! You'll probably hit it off easier.
Reply:With time and patience you will love again.
Reply:You have to begin by loving yourself first. You can't begin to love someone else if you don't work on your internal issues. You do this by maybe taking some self help courses and going to group therapy. Taking this approach does not mean you are crazy as some people think. This situation is very hard to work through by yourself. I have a master's degree in psychology and still needed to seek some guidance. Take these crucial steps and mend your heart first. Then and only then will you be able to let down your guard and begin to love.
Reply:I bet it feels as though you've walled off your heart so that it can't be hurt again. And maybe what you would like is someone that is trustworthy and stable first...





Take your time. Say your goodbyes. Live your life for you.


This will pass and you'll find a time when you are ready to open your heart again.





I wish you well and I hope in your times of anger...and seclusion...that you find ways to smile...so that your heart feels the sunshine that only you can provide at this time.
Reply:You need to talk to a professional and get through the pain and heartache of your life.








Only a stranger that is an expert in this can really help you, please seek that type of help. I will pray for you.
Reply:You will love again.. Time heals the pain.
Reply:you will love again I promise,. I swore i would not. I saw my daughter after 5 years





Im in love again!
Reply:Your last words were the magic words - "find myself." You must first love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you. When you don't have love, you can't get love and you send out negative vibes. Start working on yourself first, maybe even consider some counseling. I guarantee you when you start to smile again and exude positive energy, you won't have to look for love, it will find you. God Bless You, and good luck.
Reply:Let love come to you. Waiting for love will just hurt you even more. Until then enjoy your life while you can.
Reply:i mean no offense by this, but perhaps you should talk to a professional. maybe thay can help you sort oyu your feelings and why you feel that way.